2010 RECAP - Soz it is late

2010 RECAP 

by Liz Roberts

So I’m probably the worst person to ask to recount the past year. I can barely remember what happened to me last week let alone all year and for the whole world. But here is my best shot. It was what I was interested in, cared about or liked, (some maybe not so much) but most of all…. It’s what I could remember.

2010 Seemed to be all about KE$HA. I don’t know why. I don’t know how she’s ended up in the lineup for Future Music along side talent such as Mark Ronson, Chemical Brothers etc. All I know is I have a friend with a demotivational wallpaper on her phone that says ‘KE$HA, She looks like if you touched her, she’d be sticky.

January 2010 - Kelly Osbourne gets thin. I feel like she’s on crack. She’ll tell you otherwise.

February 2010 – Alexander McQueen. I may only know designers from watching Americas Next Top Model, Project Runway and the Rachel Zoe Project but from what I know McQueen was a good one.

Channel 9’s ridiculously horrible coverage and commentary on the 2010 Winter Olympic Games. Eddie McGuire is a fail on any show. Embarrassing, illiterate, stupid, homophobic and completely ignorant to any and every sport. WTF Channel 9? Eddie doesn’t look like he’s ever participated in any sport in his life.

Clearly everyone else was thinking the same when they joined the ‘Eddie McGuire is ruining the 2010 winter Olympic coverage’ facebook page.

Kourtney Kardashian fucks ofF her psycho boyfriend Scott. Unfortunately they got back together again shortly after. What a douche.

March 2010 – Remember Nicholas Brendan aka Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Ever wonder what happened to the king of nerds that got hot chick? March 2010 saw Nic get arrested and tazered not once, but twice. Something about vandalism and some sort. He’ll be on parole for the next three years for trying to assault a cop and resisting arrest.  

Ricky Martin comes out of the closet. Soz, did you say 2010 or 2001. Finally he comes clean announcing he is a ‘fortunate homosexual man’. This shows us there is still hope for Ian Thorpe.

April 2010 – Beaver Feaver… I mean Bieber Feaver. I don’t really have much to say on this except that I love this website devoted to lesbians who look like Justin Bieber.

May 2010 - Gary Coleman – Dies. Lol. Well it was either dead or jail. ALSO - Daria is finally released on DVD.

July 2010 - My favourite non celebrity of the year Antoine Dodson. Watch this. Then watch this. He is one famous man. He not only now has a wikipedia page, but an official halloween costume, a sex offender tracker iPhone application, commercials, T-Shirts and has now also set up a foundation for juvenile diabetes. 

What year would be complete without a Paris Hilton arrest, and at the World Cup no less. Minor drug charges with the claim of ‘it wasn’t it me was my friend’ Yaa.

Speaking of arrests, Lindsay Lohan actually ended up in Jail this year. I know everyone saw it coming, but did they actually see it really happening? July also saw ‘Free Lindsay’ Rallys held across the country and ‘Free Lindsay’ merchandise being sold left right and centre.

September 2010 – Lady Gaga. Her fashion and style has kept the world entertained all year. If I had to pick one outfit to showcase it would be the dress she likely picked from her local butcher. The meat dress. Meat purse included. It may not be a new concept, but I love meat and I love gaga, so the combo goes down well with me.

Stephanie Rice. Probably not homophobic, just an idiot. She lost her Jaguar contract, had to make a few formal apologies, came close to loosing several other contracts after tweeting about the South African Rugby team needing to ‘suck on that faggots’ Soz Steph, suck my pussy.

October 2010 – Black Eyed Peas make a horrendous cover of the cult classic song (I’ve had) The Time of My Life by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes from the movie Dirty Dancing. Need I say more?

November 2010 – Taylor Swift admits she’s had at least 20 facelifts. Soz lol, just made this one up. But wouldn’t be surprised if she admitted it this year. Either that or she’s an alien.

December 2010 – Royal Engagement – Prince William and Kate ‘Commoner’ Middleton. I’m probably about 1% interested in this. But I know a few die hard Women’s Day fanatics that jizz over the royals. This includes you Tom.

My Christmas Present. Mariah Carey and Nic Cannon are having twins! Mini Mimi’s! I’m hoping she names them along the lines of the titles of her album/merchandise. Think ‘Lollipop Bling’ ‘Charm Bracelet’ ‘Fantasy’ etc, but if I was a betting lady, I’d say if there is a girl involved it will be named ‘Mimi, Mimi the second, Mariah Jnr, Mini Mariah, or Mariah II. Either way I hope she stays healthy and happy through her pregnancy. Love you MC. xx

2010 All – Taylor Momsen – the 17yr old embodiment of teenage angst. Who knows what’s happened here. What’s the deal Taylor? I’m a lover of facepaint and outrageous makeup for all occasions, but are you serious?? Are you trying to be brooding, mysterious, deep? Or can you just not put on eyeliner? If you’re going to go down the freak show Marylin Manson road then HARDEN the FUCK UP.

2010 All - Heidi Montag Plastic Surgery addiction – 10 treatments in one day. Mini brow lift, botox in forehead and frown area, nose job revision, fat injections in cheeks, nasolabial folds and lips, chin eduction, neck liposuction, ears pinned back breast ugmentation revision, liposuction on waist, hips, outer and inner thighs, buttock augmentation. That is all.